So...change of plans. Like I had said I have been trying to get back into cooking and recently got a job at ZED451 with two stages at other restaurants. Well, I found out what I would be doing at ZED finally (my first day got changed to this Monday...). Um, I would be given a huge skewer of meat (leg of lamb, chicken, etc..) and I would wander the restaurant from table to table asking if anyone wants some. Thats it. Um, FTW?! I am not going to leave a perfectly good job and start serving meat of skewers. I want to cook, that is not cooking.

Well, that being said. I got another interview at Powerhouse tomorrow, so that makes three interviews this week. I am thinking I am not going to go into ZED, just do the interviews and hope for the best. I hope I would get a job at one of three places but in the instance that I don't I still have my job with United and I won't be screwed.

So, thats the quick update.

Well, the time has come to return to my career. I have taked a job as a tableside chef at ZED451, starting tomorrow night! I am total stoked!! I have missed cooking and been thinking of returning to it for quite a while as I have posted on here a few times. Being a FA for United was fun and I loved that I got to see a large part of the world, but its time to move on and return to my career.

I also have two stage's (stage is a french word...basically you work free for a day like an interview) at both the GreenZebra and The Drawing Room next week, Wed and Thurs respectively. Both are great restaurants here in Chicago. The difference is that at ZED451 I would be cooking exclusively tableside right in front of the guests and at the other two it would be a regular cook back in the kitchen. GreenZebra is a vegetarian restaurant and The Drawing Room is contemporary american (as is ZED451); all three are fine dining places and would be great to work at. GreenZebra actually called while I was filling out paperwork at ZED451 and the Drawing Room called today. It will be good to go into both places and work; then I can decide between the three which I would prefer to do. I want to learn as much as possible while working so that is kind of going to dictate where I decide to end up. Although I would feel bad not keeping the job I just took if one of the other places turns out better, but I have a feeling I will just stay at ZED451 anyway. I think I will love cooking and interacting with the customers. We will see what happens in the end, LOL.

Not a whole lot going on otherwise. I am excited to have a routine and be able to have regular friends in the city and be able to work out. I will miss not being able to jump on a plane and just fly somewhere, but I haven't really done that too much lately anyway so its all good.

I don't think there is really too much other than that. Just enjoying life and living it to the fullest!

So here is my current dilemma with my job. I love it, I mean I get paid to do nothing; I know a lot of people bitch about it and say its awful (these usually being the older ladies I fly with...). Here is my one and only problem with the job and why I am contemplating returning to cooking...

I am not using my brain. That is the issue. Lets look at the job itself real-quick: On an average 4-hour flight I serve beverages initially....answer some call lights, go through with coffee a few times and do a 2nd quick beverage an hour before landing. Granted, I don't get paid a ton, but then the rest of the time I just read or chat with people. Basically a cake job.

But I am used to working lots and accomplishing lots during my days. And I thought I didn't like that but now that I don't do much and don't really have any goals to work towards I find myself wanting to get back to my career as a chef. I love flying and I love food, I kind of do both right now with some personal chefing on the side, but I want to get back into restaurants I think.

I don't want to make any rush decision because I do have a fairly stress-free life right now and I have gotten to see a lot of the world and I don't want to give that up and regret it. So I think I am just going to see where life takes me and not worry too much about what happens.

Ok, so I am coming up to a point where I either continue as I am or get back into my cooking career...so I am asking for opinions, I will obviously still make my own decision but its good to see what others think as well....Thanks y'all!

Poll #1146796 Opinion Time....
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2

What is your opinion on what I should do?

I find myself wanting to update more often these days. Don't know why but I guess its because I feel more and more detached from everyone up in WI so I want to try and do better and keeping everyone informed of what is going on in my life.

I am seriously considering returning to cooking. I have travelled now for a while and gotten to see many of the countries/cities I have wanted to but feel that I want to continue with the career I have started. I don't guarantee that I want to cook in restaurants for my whole life, but I feel more fulfilled when I cook and feel that I am doing something with my life. This job is great and wicked easy, but just not something I see doing long-term; I can see being involved with food one way or another for the rest of my life and figure getting back into cooking is the best way to start and figure out where I want to go from there....we'll see.

While we are on the subject work at United is going ok. Like I said it is a stress free job and honestly doesn't require that much knowledge to perform, but I do get paid to read, LOL. Since I started 1 year and 3 months ago I have been to every major US city (except NYC, go figure), and seen Tokyo, Narita, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Beijing, Bang Kok, Sao Paulo, Buenos Aires, Montevideo, Paris, London, Munich, Frankfurt, Rome, Cape Town, Zurich, Brussels, Amsterdam and Kuwait City. I still really want to do Sydney and Melbourne, but I will never get those out of Chicago as we have no direct flights there from here...so all-in-all I have seen the cities I have wanted to and more than I could ever imagine.

The last few posts were me freaking out for some unknown reason. If you know me then you know that I tend to stress about nothing. I guess its that I started seeing this guy, Mike, and have fallen for him; which at this point I would get hurt so I was just stressing. I like him and am NOT going to pull away for fear of getting hurt like I normally would; instead I am just trying to go with the flow and see what is going to happen, its headed in a good direction but I will just wait and see.

Juls, my roommate, is doing great. She is dating this guy, Joe, and he makes her happy so I am happy for her, she deserves all the best and I think he can give it to her.

Not really a whole lot else. I have a few offers on the table with jobs, so we will see where that ends up. Otherwise just trying to live life and have a good time. I am continuing to grow and change and I think it is all for the better. I miss Stevens Point and everyone up there but I feel like I have grown so much since leaving, growing that I would never have accomplished in the city I grew up in. I pulled myself out of my comfort zone and couldn't be happier....

So, I think I was GMS-ing (Gay Menstrual Syndrome) hardcore yesterday. I don't know why I was freaking out so much. I think the last guy I dated has kind of caused some of this in a good way and in a bad way...lets review:

Well, he cheated on me a few times and it was usually when I wasn't hearing from him. So I got used to checking in on him all the time and hearing from him constantly to reassure myself that he wasn't doing anything. So now with this guy I am interested in if I don't hear from him right away I assume his mind has been changed somehow.

I know this is ridiculous and I have never been like this with other guys, so I just need to chill and get back to my old self. Yeah, he called this morning and said he is excited for when we get to go out again...

I think in part this is also due to some learned tendencies from my mother. She is constantly over-reacting about everything and overanalyzing everything. (e.g., one of my friends had strep throat last month and she told me to be careful b/c if I got it and didn't get it treated it would turn into flesh eating disease and I would die...) Like I said, excessive overreacting.

So when I find myself doing either of these things I just need to take a step back and breathe; calm myself down and just remind myself that everything is fine and even if it isn't it will be.

Ok, aside from all of that I am headed out to London tonight and will be back on Sunday, then am off for three days. Kind of excited, kind of not. It's just London and its cold there too, plus several flight attendants have been getting beaten-up while there so that makes me not want to leave the hotel, but I can't stay cooped-up there all day tomorrow...

Ok, I think this is it for now....going to nap and then getting ready to go.

Ok, so answer me this. I am happy being single, I have no problem with it. But for some reason when I start dating someone I get all self-conscious and analyze everything little thing I do. For example, I went on a date with this guy this past weekend, we had been talk for a few weeks but never had a chance to meet up. Went great, he seems to be an awesome guy and of course I like him. Now if I don't hear from him every second I assume he has stopped liking me or I did something wrong. When the hell did I become THAT person??!!?

I mean today, I worked Cleveland-Denver, when I landed he had texted me Happy Valentine's Day and left a message saying that he was thinking about me lots and Happy Valentine's Day again. So, I get home tonight and message him and don't immediately hear back and now assume he doesn't like me anymore, again I ask....what the fuck is wrong with me?

I think part of this may be because I essentially don't do anything in life so when I am focusing ALL of my attention on this one thing. I mean, my job is no challenge and requires no focus; then on my days off I do nothing. I really think my career as a flight attendant is coming to a close soon, I can't spend my life with no goals and nothing to do....

I would just like to know when I became THAT person that becomes paranoid about everything. HELP!! Tell me what the hell is wrong with me!

Just got home last night from a four day trip. Chicago-Minneapolis-Chicago-LA-Denver-Philidelphia-Chicago. Met a great guy on the last day and I thought we had hit it off, he even gave me his number when we parted ways on the train, but never responded. So I don't know what to think, oh well.

Not a whole lot else right now. Kristopher and Shane are on their way down today for a concert tomorrow night. Hopefully I get to see them while they are here. I miss Kristopher.

Mmmmm, not really much else...maybe more later ;o)

No time for a real update at the moment....but I apparently give guys anxiety attacks when we don't talk for 10 hours....FTW!?! This is a whole new level of drama that I can not deal with...

[real post to follow soon...]

Ok, so I wasn't looking forward to going to HKG. I thought I wasn't a big fan of Asia, but my mind has been officially changed over the last 4 days.

We got there and immediately went and laid out on the roof at the pool. 37th floor at the Renaissance Harbour View Hotel, AMAZING view....what a gorgeous city! The had dinner and wandered a bit shopping.

Next day we were all up early b/c of jetlag so we got breakfast at Delifrance (eating French food in Asia, go figure I would go for that, lol). Hit up Starbucks and then proceeded to wander. Met up with some other f/a's then hopped the ferry over to Kowloon Side for some shopping. After much wandering we found the Ladies' Market, WOW! It was crazy.....loved it!!

Over all it was a great trip and I officially love that city! Its almost like an Asian London. It definitely is its own city, but has obvious English influences, obvious since it has only been part of China again for 10 years.

Who wants to go to HKG??

Seriously....I know this is what being on reserve is. Getting a trip, knowing it can be changed at the last minute for no reason and there is nothing you can do about it. But...still, boo!

Was supposed to go on a trip to Europe. Consisted of a night in Paris, a night in DC and two nights in Munich. But wait!....

Yea, my trip just got changed to Hong Kong. On the bright side I get two days there and then I am deadheading home (don't have to work), so that is nice. But still....

Oh, well. Off to HKG I go!

One of my friends posted this and I liked it a lot. It is apparently from a book of arguments on several different topics...this one obviously being homosexuality.


Virtually Normal; An Argument About Homosexuality
By Andrew Sullivan

"The homosexual experience may be deemed an illness, a disorder, a privilege, or a curse; it may be deemed worthy of a "cure," rectified, embraced, or endure. But it exists. It occurs independently of the form of its expression. It is bound up on that mysterious and unstable area where sexual desire and emotional longing meet; it reaches into the core of what makes human being who he or she is. The origins of homosexuality are remarkably mysterious, and probably are due to a mixture of some genetics factors and very early childhood development. The truth is that, for the overwhelming majority of adults, the condition of homosexuality is as involuntary as heterosexuality is for heterosexuals. Such an orientation is evident from the very beginning of the formation of a person's emotional identity."



"Any heterosexual man who takes a few moments to consider what life would be like if he were never allowed a formal institution to cement his relationship will see the truth of what I am saying. Imagine a life without recognized family; imagine dating without the possibility of marriage. Any heterosexual woman who can imagine being told at a young age that her attraction to men was wrong , that her loves and crushes were illicit, that her destiny was singlehood and shame, will also appreciate the point. Gay marriage is not a radical step; it is a profoundly humanizing, traditionalizing step. It is the first step to any resolution of the homosexual question, more important than any other institution, since it is the most central institution to the nature of the problem, which is to say, the emotional and sexual bond between one human being to another. It is ultimately the only reform that truly matters."

So things have been up and down around here lately. More up then down, but I have been super moody lately and I don't know why. I am sure it was just one of those things, its passed now and I am glad for it.

Flying has been going well. Was supposed to go to Buenos Aires the other week and to Uraguay, but then my flight to DC got cancelled so I missed out on the trip. Oh well.

Guys? Oy! Where do I start. (1)So there is still Todd. He is all over the place. One minute he wants to be friends and the next is apologizing and still wanting to chill. I am not really vesting any interest in that one.

(2) My ex Casey and his fiance moved into an apartment down the block from me. His fiance (Aiden) hates me. Or hated me. Not really sure which it is this week. I just try to stay out of that drama as much as I can.

(3) Geoff. Well he and I started talking last summer, he lived in MI. Just moved to FL earlier last month. We always meant to get together and now we are going to Portland together the end of this month 25-27. Not really sure what to make of it.

(4) Jeff (Yes another one, two different spellings.) Good guy. Met him online (Facebook) back in December when I was going through F/A training. We talked back and forth off and on, always said we would get together if he came up here ever. (His facebook says he's straight). Well, he messages me last week and give me his number b/c he is up here right now. Well, now that we have each other's numbers we talk non-stop...oh and he finally told me he is gay, although not really out to many people, which is cool. So we are supposed to get together finally tonight or tomorrow. And he may be coming up here for my birthday. Hmmm.

Not really a whole lot else. Kristopher and Shane came up here the other week and we all went out the Friday of pride. HOT MESS!! I can't deal with that many gays at once. But it was fun and they are cute together....I miss you tons babe!

I have gone through another change of sorts. Its like steps. I seem to stay on one for a while and then suddenly something in me changes and I am on the next step. I seem to have jumped another step lately, I can't explain it, but its in my behaviour. I guess all I can say is that I have turned calmer, more reserved kind of. Don't know.

Well, not much other than that. Loving the city. Complacent with the job (it pays the bills, yeah!). Confused with guys (go figure...). Things are good.

Lates. E.

Yea, so I have been a little bitchy lately...sorries! Life is good down here....hope everyone is doing great....will do a real post soon.

I hate it. And even more than being a part of it is being the cause of it, even if it is no fault of my own.

F**K this drama down here. God I hate being gay sometimes, all there ever is is drama everywhere you turn.

GMS-ing...hardcore.

Love Chicago! Love Pride! Love homos! Love Kristopher and Shane!!!

Could I be in a better mood (ok, maybe I am just a little inebriated...come on at least I can spell that at 3:15a)

Love ya'll!!

[eth'n]

I am so freaking bored!!! Who knew I would be just as much or more bored in the city than I was up in Wisconsin. At least in WI I had friends I could hang out with. I have friends now but we live together so all we do is sit in the apartment.

Don't get me wrong I love Chicago. Just bored at the moment. On the brightside I am going on a trip to Shanghai for 4 days this weekend, sweet!

Not a whole lot else going on around here lately.

Met up with Ali last night in the city. She is here for NeoCon so we chatted for a while at her hotel then I came home. She is doing great and hot as ever! Love her!!

Went to London this past weekend. Was going to try to meet up with Heller, but couldn't find internet in time (sorry Steve!). Next time I will for sure, he lives really close to our hotel.

BTW, I LOVE London!! I guess I never gave it a chance before, but it really is a great city. It is for sure on my list of places I would move to in a heartbeat if someone ever offered me that chance.

Still don't know whats going on with Todd. Oy...

Not a whole lot else...